I go through phases, just like the moon.
But…don’t we all?
Motivation will be UP and working out is easy, cleaning the house is effortless and my life is right on track. Then, in a blink of an eye, I realize the kids laundry hasn’t been done and we haven’t eaten anything that resembles fresh in a day or two.
I think it mostly happens because I feel like I’m living in a groundhogs day. It’s rare that my mornings are inconsistent.
The morning start the tone for the day, right?
For me, after working the late shift and waking up to kids that don’t want to go to school, that can’t find their special socks, can’t find their pants that aren’t itchy, their shoes that aren’t too tight, their homework or are just TOO tired to brush their teeth…well that’s a pretty tough start to the day. But I also have little dogs, I mean, these things are vintage and if I’m being honest, I expected them to die already. It is a rare day that I don’t wake up to an accident in the house.
There is always laundry, dishes and cleaning to be done and sometimes the monotony of what seems like EVERY morning gets to me. So I go through a phase.
The phase looks something like giving up, wanting to kick my little dogs because they are brown like footballs and I could just paint the laces on their back. I usually hold a family meeting and tell the other members they HAVE to help out or I’m going to lose it. They pitch in and slowly pull me from the funk I’ve fallen into.
If only there was a way to keep myself from falling. That’s what I’ve been working on lately. What are my triggers to getting to THAT place. The place where our house falls apart and mainly the place where I fall apart. No one really cares if I work out or eat healthy those things just benefit me and me alone, so why do I start there?
Why do I (and maybe you do it too) self-sabotage first and then let it spread out to the masses?
I know for me it’s because I don’t protect my energy. Even though I’m Colorado born the Minnesota nice has been ingrained in me. I say yes to too many things. I over commit to others and don’t leave time or space for me. I trade in work outs & work ins for things others need.
There has to be a balance. A “sure I can do that, but it can’t be done until I do this thing for ME”.
I mean, here I am teaching little humans on how to be humans, but really I’m failing. I feel like I’m teaching them to be over committed to others and give up on themselves. The you first me whenever tactics are not what I want my men to hold on to. Be kind, but be kind and loving to yourself too. Know what you need and don’t be afraid to tell people no. After all we only get one chance at this.
Here and now, I”m making a commitment to myself. To listen and do what I need first, fill myself up so I can return the favor. Instead of the funk phase maybe it will just be a full phase of ME.
Much love,
Jes xoxo