How do you get it, sustain it and why does it seem like the people that should have it don’t and the people that shouldn’t have more than enough?
My girlfriends and I used to meet for a monthly dinner and drinks date. We’d fill everyone in on what’s going on during the appetizers and during the main course let the one that needed the most boyfriend/dating help take over the conversation. During one of those outings one of the ladies told me she wish she had my confidence. I was taken by surprise I hadn’t really ever thought my confidence was where it should be. I was really shocked when one of my better friends told this girl that my confidence wasn’t really that high, I faked it. Spoken like confidence is just an orgasm with an inexperienced gentleman and you just want to get it over with.
Confidence is tricky and if you could figure out how to bottle it up, millions would be made. When it comes down to it, it’s really a mind game; YOU really are your WORST enemy. In fact, the majority of people don’t have nearly as many mean things to say about you as you would say about yourself. Continually we tear ourselves down waiting for someone to build us back up. Why do we do that to ourselves? Enough is enough.
Start with loving yourself, and be comfortable in your own skin. Once you love yourself, others will follow suit. In order to love yourself you have to accept your flaws and love them too. Grab a mirror, pen and paper and let the pros and cons begin! You might find there are more things you love about yourself than you originally thought and that is great!
Let’s stop tearing ourselves down. Quit saying you’re an idiot or it was really stupid to “fill in the blank”. Life is hard enough without the extra negativity and if you say it enough you’ll start to believe it. Instead be your own cheerleader, if you’re proud of yourself admit it! Celebrate the small victories and recruit your personal cheer squad. Keep in mind if you’re enlisting the help of others for your cheer squad, volunteer to be a member of theirs as well. We have to be there for each other.
Try and switch your mindset. Abraham Lincoln said, “we can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses”. I have almost Paris Hilton size feet. They are big and I don’t particularly like them. Kids used to tease me asking if I had canoes on my feet. Shoes may mask my giant stabilizers but the masks are also big. Skinny jeans with flats is not a look I can pull off easily. But a pedicure makes me more confident. I love when my toenails are painted. I give myself a pedicure or go in to get one and it brings up my confidence! Flats still get rocked but with a boot cut jean! Skinny jeans for me only belong with boots. I’ve learned that trends are not for everyone, what looks great on others isn’t always for everybody.
I am no faker, but I will say this, confidence is something you have to work on. It’s something that can be stolen rather quickly so guard it. Enjoy being you; you’re the only one that does it perfectly!