For the longest time (I’m talking about YEARS) I only claimed 29 years. I never claimed to be older, but once I turned 29 I just didn’t want to be any older. This is due to a number of reasons including but not limited to: my grandmother claiming only 35 years…I guess I didn’t want to explain catching up to her; my maturity level…wisdom comes with age (they say) so I’m resting at about 15-21 years in maturity which, now that I think about it, is making even 29 a stretch; but most importantly I believe in wisdom shared by Buddha, “What you think you become”.
Being 29 is fun! You have the freedom of being an adult but still in an age range where you can make mistakes and others just chalk it up to, “she’ll figure it out…she’s in her twenties”.
Life. was. GRAND! Until one day…
My bestie asked me one day how much longer I was going to be 29.
Me, “probably forever, why”.
Her, “well, I’m turning forty soon and if my best friend is only 29, I just wonder what that would look like…”
Damn it. I didn’t think about that. However it did get me thinking. What if I did own up to my age?
* * *
For almost two years, I’ve owned up to my complete age. There’s been some good times too. For instance, I’ve won money. When someone asks me how old I am, I tell them and they don’t believe me OR someone who knows will bet someone who doesn’t. I’ve won money on bets like that. It’s like a carnival guessing game but we all have our teeth. (Hindsight is saying that’s a mean thing to say, BUT the age in me doesn’t really care to take that line out.)
As I round the bend to 37 I’m realizing something.
I
Am
ALL
Busted
Up.
Maybe its Karma for not owning up as I went along and now all of a sudden age is just pounding on my joints.
Just recently I’ve had some elbow and hip/knee pain. I guess it’s not terrible ALL the time but it’s not great. I’m pretty sure I have tendonitis in my elbow and I just learned that my hip flexors are overly active. With mindfulness, patience and practice, I can reverse the effects of my hip flexors but my elbow might be fucked. Just kidding, but that’s how it feels!
I’m not even two years into this age owning business but I’m not sure I like it. IF this is what age feels like the oldies can have it.
Moral of this story is, IF you are like I was, struggling to turn past a certain age really SIT down with your reasons and weigh your options. My bestie could have said she was my mentor which would have made her look like a saint.
It’s too late for me to go back. I’ll sit here and handle the hours that turn into days – weeks – years, hopefully being mindful, having patience, practicing yoga, moving and laughing will make the years kind to me.
If not, then I guess, that’s life. 😀
Much Love,
Namaste,
Jes xoxo