There is this person I know that no matter what you say to them they find 15 different negative things to say. Me: I really like your hair today! Them: Really? It’s so flat and frizzy today, I should have worn a hat. It’s exhausting and I’m usually up for a challenge. When my kids ask me “why” to everything that ever existed I come up with responses (even if they aren’t true) to see which one of us gives up first. Kid wins: 0. Mommy wins: 15 million.
We all know people like this, right? The real question is: are we these people? Do you receive compliments or do you pair it with a negative comment? I’m here to tell you, you DON’T need to do this. You can receive compliments WITHOUT saying something negative about yourself. There is no need to make things even out. In fact you can’t. If someone says something nice about you and you return say something not nice about yourself it doesn’t make the person who complimented you feel good, it actually gets a little awkward.
Taking compliments isn’t always easy but it’s doable. Here are a few tips to help you take them.
Think before you speak. When someone compliments you before you have the knee-jerk reaction to say something negative THINK about what you’re going to say. If your immediate thought is something negative say nothing more than “thank you”. Thumper’s mom hit the nail on the head. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” This goes for self-talk as well as speaking to others.
Smile. You were just paid a compliment! Be happy about it! In this day, although free, compliments are not so easy to come by. Too many times I see people either comparing themselves to others or having others compare you to someone else. “Comparison is the thief of joy” ~ Theodore Roosevelt couldn’t have been more right. Don’t be a joy thief. Just show off your smile.
Pay it forward. If your day was just made by a compliment pay the feeling forward. Again, compliments are free throw them around like confetti.
Give credit where credit is due. If you had help make sure you name drop or tell whomever helped you that you were complimented because of their doing. For example if someone comments on your muscle tone make sure to acknowledge your hard work and give your trainer a shout out.
A lot of times we think of complimenting someone but we don’t actually work up the nerve to say it out loud. Be gracious and appreciative when someone does take the time to say it. Own your accomplishments. Be a fountain, not a drain.
Much love,
Jes xoxo