My first pup was born a week after me. When she was old enough to be taken to our home my parents plopped her right beside me in my crib. She was as smart, loyal, friendly and protective as a black lab could get. My parent’s named her Molly and we went everywhere together.
As Molly and I grew out of our crib and into a real bed, my parent’s, kids themselves, attempted a parenting / partying lifestyle balance. The balance worked because of Molly and our neighbors.
After a night of partying my parents would wake up late in the morning and not find me at home. They weren’t too worried because we lived in a TINY town in Colorado (population of around 300) and it was the 80s, did anyone have worries back then? Not to mention my sidekick was ALWAYS with me.
My mom told me that she would look out the window and see Molly on the neighbor’s deck and knew I was over chatting with the older couple.
Molly continued to be my best friend through all of our moves, school changes and childhood years. I was 16 when she passed. I still think about her often and wonder how I could have been better FOR her.
The dogs my parents had after Molly just didn’t have the same impact on me.
When I was in my late 20’s, my now husband, got me a purse size pup! Lucinda was a Miniature Pinscher with quirky personality, a love of cheese and a huge smile. We picked her up from the breeders and had her for about six months before we decided to go back and get her a playmate. Leea’s, was not as friendly as Lulu. Leea had a traumatic childhood and we’re pretty sure the family before us returned her to the breeder. Their loss, she was a good fit for us.
Both Lucinda and Leea would show us our future parenting roles. When there were accidents or shoes eaten, I would be the discipliner, my hubs the picker upper. I asked for a switch but we always ended up defaulting to roles we established as fur baby parents.
During the tail end of covid we laid our ladies to rest. Years later it still hurts. It was time but it doesn’t mean it made it easier.
I couldn’t fathom going through that heartbreak again.
During a time when I was overwhelmed, borderline depressed, I asked my hubs for help. I didn’t know what I could do to snap out of the stress that was weighing me down. He approached me a few days later with solution. He wanted to adopt a puppy. I asked him if he was crazy! I told him I needed help NOT to add additional duties to my already drowning self.
“Just meet her,” he pleaded.
The boys and I took a mini road trip to meet her and she was perfect, but I told him I wasn’t ready.
He pursued anyway. On November 1, 2021 we adopted Shadow.
She’s been everything I didn’t know I was missing.
Those stickers that say, “Who rescued who?” are incredible accurate. She got me out of the funk I had buried myself in. We’ve been attached at the hip ever since.
Last February, she scared the hell out of us when she had a seizure. We didn’t know what happened. Then all of a sudden she was fine. But this February she had two a week apart. Her doctor, at this time, just wants us to keep a log of when and how long.
It’s exceedingly agonizing to not be able to help her. We sit together as a family holding her, telling her how brave she is, how much we love her. We’re not to the point of needing medications yet and I’ll do it IF needed but I don’t want to take years off her life if there are other options.
If anyone has ANY advice, I would love to hear it.
Our fur babies share such a short part of our journey but we’re their WHOLE lives. I want to make her’s the BEST it can be.
Namaste,
Jes xoxo
