Yoga. The beautiful, calming practice of being still left me anxious as FUCK last Saturday.
Ironic, right? I mean, how can something so soothing cause stress? That my friend, is all in the pants you wear.
It was early on a Saturday. My men were house sitting which means I got a good night sleep (no snoring…) and I was up and ready for yoga training early. I sifted through my drawer of workout clothes and picked some pants that had my favorite flower on them; the hibiscus. I’ve never felt so ready for a class before!
If you know me, you know I am NEVER early. Notorious for being “fashionably” late, which is a little ironic because I wouldn’t consider my style very fashionable.
I digress…
I was the first one to arrive. My yoga teacher even commented on my arrival. After mild chatting with her I went to settle in on my mat. In the grounding attempt to settle before class is when I noticed it.
I could see through my pants and I was wearing Wonder Woman underware.
* *
A couple years ago, I was sitting amongst quite a few gym rats. Rat-ettes is probably the better term for them because they were all female. The subject of see through yoga pants came up and they were appalled. At the time, I didn’t have any “yoga” pants. Sure, I had pants I wore to yoga, but they were thick leggings and not super form fitting. I wore mostly boot cut because I have big feet and skinny yoga leggings make my feet look like skis. I remember thinking, who would buy see through pants??? Honestly, who really cares? Typically the yoga classes I’ve been too are mostly female AND if everyone is in down dog at the same time then no one is looking at your bottom anyway.
Fast forward a couple years, I’m at a store and see these beach vibe hibiscus pants with some lace on them. Inside the waist line they said YOGA and although they were the skinny leg I scooped them up! Beach vibes AND Yoga!!!! Hook, Line, and sinker I. Am. In.
It’s a weakness, really.
I wear these pants ALL the time. I love them!
So that Saturday, I was feeling good! I was kneeling down getting ready to ground myself with child’s pose when I looked at my knees and thought, “are these pants see through?”.
Second thought, “OMG, they are! and I’m wearing Wonder Woman undies, FUCK”.
You’re probably thinking what I was thinking a few years earlier…who cares, I mean really if everyone IS in down dog at the same time no one will notice and it’s probably a bunch of chicks anyway they’ll understand the situation.
As the class filled up my anxiety got worse. My mat became SURROUNDED by men.
No. Joke.
I couldn’t leave, I’m doing the yoga teacher training and this class is required. So I did, what I would imagine anyone else in my see-through-pants would do, I practiced yoga.
The dude directly behind me is deliberately slow with his poses matching his breath to each posture and really making sure he’s in it before moving on. Unfortunately for me, I have not expanded the lengths of my inhalations and exhalations like he has.
My Sun A series is much faster, which means…when he’s in Updog, gazing forward…I’m in down dog showing more than he probably wants to see.
As my luck should have it, we had tons of small group breakout sessions where we were breaking down the poses and the teacher even asked me to the front of the class to work through forward folds (my ass was in the air A LOT).
As the day progressed, I realized it’s about time, my classmates figured out my true identity.
I.
Am.
Wonder WOMAN!
In a side disclaimer I think companies selling “yoga” pants should really be mindful of how see through the fabric is. Anxiety and balance poses do not mesh and we don’t need any injuries in yoga.
Much love, peace and hope for thick pants,
Jes xoxo